Okay, we did our first STEP test, today. For those of you who don't know, it is Japan's scholastic standardized test for English proficiency. It's pretty dry and not a very realistic tool for assessment, but it's the fountain of numbers all the Japanese parents and educators seem to bow before. We took my seven-year-old son (who speaks English better than Japanese) and 20 other elementary kids on the train out to Kami Fukuoka (20 min up the line) to a Jr. High School (30 min walk) that used to be a hospital and is reputed to be haunted where we went into one of many class rooms where a humorless young man in a suit and tie administered a test of English proficiency lasting an hour and a half. For some of them, including my son, this was their first encounter with a proper, #2 pencil, bubble-sheet answer form, do not open the book until instructed-type test.
We met them all at our school this morning, accompanied by lots of parents who clearly wanted to come to. But we'd already said students only; the last thing the kids needed was wound-up soccer moms and dads looming over them, stressing them out further. We took them on the train and then on foot down to the school. Some of our kids were so tense, their shoulders were like iron. I talked 'em down on the way (in English). We got a little turned around due to a mis-printed map. Safely escorting 21 wiggly, nervous kids down a narrow, treacherous Japanese street was a task worthy of insurance (we took out insurance) so I deputized my oldest boy and girl. They were Jr. High and 6th grade, respectively. I asked them if they knew what a "cow-boy" was. They said yes, but of course had the image of a gunfighter. I explained in English what a cowboy or cowgirl actually does. I told them that all these other kids were cows, and that was all the explanation they needed. They looked like a couple of old pros, and my wife wrangled the middle while I acted as trail boss. I can holler audibly over two full blocks.
When we arrived, we did some battle cries in front of the school and got good and psyched-up. As we ushered them to their desks, we delivered knocks, high-fives and lots of general bravado to the point we looked more like a little league football team hitting the field than a bunch of test-takers. The other sitters in the class, mostly high-school-aged people and a few adults looked on in shock as my students and I bantered IN ENGLISH, of all places...they were all ready for an English test, but not for English. HA! My kids were feeling good and ready for battle.
90 minutes later, the kids came running down to the foyer. I greeted them with more of the same Spartan bravado, to the befuddlement of the people at the front table. Some of the kids were down on themselves until I told them they could test again in January. That perked them up, considerably.
Keep in mind, I didn't speak Japanese once the whole outing, except to people on the way in the course of it all. Station masters, proctors, asking direction and such. That's how good our kids' English is, and it made a wonderful spectacle in providential Japan.
We took them for ice cream, afterwards. Again, an alien rite here in Japan. Ice cream shops are scarce here, so we descended on a sleepy little Family Mart convenience store for grapefruit ice pops (a big favorite over here) or whatever kind they wanted. Again, no parents. A real blast for them.
Took a little work to control them on the last leg home, especially on the train.
Hard to believe a test could be so much fun.
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